Friday, November 29, 2013

Taking the bite out of bitterness

Growing up, my favorite memories of the holidays have to deal with my mom’s baking. As the days counted down to Christmas, the calories would stack-up in the kitchen, with all of the cookies, cakes and pies.  I can remember one specific holiday, when I was very young, in which my impatience got the best of me.  One night, my mom had pulled out all of the nonperishable ingredients for the next day’s baking marathon.  As I woke up early the next morning and grew impatient, I got into the ingredients.  I realized very quickly that the individual ingredients didn’t taste as good as the completed project.  To my surprise, bittersweet chocolate (and cocoa powder for that matter) was bitter.  It left a bad taste in my mouth.  However as that chocolate mingled with the other ingredients it became a very delectable desert.  Bitterness in our life, if left untreated, will not get better by itself.  Through the Lord’s help, He can use this ingredient in our life to make a masterpiece.  Although there are no simple, quick-fix solutions to overcoming bitterness, there are 4 essential steps in which you must traverse.  Just as that cocoa powder left a bad taste in my mouth, bitterness will linger and continue to wreak havoc.

Acknowledge the source of bitterness

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.   Ephesians 6:10-12

When dealing with bitterness in your life, it is important to understand and acknowledge its source.  Even though there was an offending person to which we apply our anger and focus upon, it is Satan who uses it to ruin our joy and life.  As you work through bitterness, you ultimately have the choice to allow it fester and to overcome it.  Please know that time isn’t the solution.  In actuality it is bitterness that keeps the offense very fresh in your mind.  Years can go by, only to find out that it feels like the situation happened yesterday.  Satan will use this to wreak havoc in your life and to keep you off focus.   

Rest in God’s sovereignty

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.    Romans 8:26-28

The offense that happened in my life ran very deep and hurt very much.  It caused me to doubt God, His goodness and His love for me.  I didn’t understand why God would ever allow that to happen.  I will never fully understand why it ever occurred.  Even after 2 years I have yet to receive an apology.  However I have come to rest in the fact that God is still in control.  I have realized that God has a greater purpose, which I cannot fully understand.  However as a result of the offense, God has used it to help others going through similar situations.  

Choose to forgive

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:31-32

When Paul was speaking to the church at Ephesus, he was quick to say to get rid of bitterness.  It was the first in his list to the Ephesians.  He knew the damage that it could cause – within the church, in someone’s life, as well as, in someone’s personal walk with the Lord.  Notice how he said we are to get rid of bitterness.  It comes by forgiving the offending person.  However it is not your typical “I forgive you, so let’s move on,” but it’s an unconditional forgiveness.  He said to forgive as Jesus forgave us.  Jesus never put any stipulations on His forgiveness.  The Message states this verse a little stronger, “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”  Just know, we will never have to forgive someone more than we have been forgiven. 

It Takes Time

I’m not sure where you’re at in dealing with bitterness.  Perhaps you might be currently struggling with it.  Please understand that it does take time.  I would love to say that it will happen overnight or it’s as easy as flipping a switch.  Choosing to forgive is an ongoing task.  We are called to forgive as Jesus forgave, which is very difficult.   It’s important that you don’t mistake forgiveness with forgetting.  You may never be able to forget an offending situation or person, but you do have a choice to forgive and move past bitterness.  The scar may be forever in your life.  Lastly, you may need to seek out professional help to move past bitterness. 


Please let me know if there is any way I can help you work through these steps. It was a lengthy process for me.  Feel free to contact me at pastorjabo@gmail.com. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Weed Control – Beware of Bitterness

Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.”             Hebrews 12:15 The Message

For many years, I have loved gardening.  With apartment living, this is one thing I greatly miss.  It is so satisfying to work in the dirt and then be able to provide food for your family.  However in order to have a successful garden it is important to keep a watchful eye on weeds.  I can remember taking an extended weekend only to come back to find weeds had popped up and were endangering my precious plants.

As with the weeds in my garden, bitterness quickly crept into my life, early during my Sabbatical.  I did not keep a watchful eye on it.  Its roots ran deeper than I had realized.  Unfortunately many do not understand the full power and deception of bitterness.  For it does not soothe, nor does it make things better.  Satan has many weapons in his arsenal and bitterness is a mighty one.  Today I will briefly share about some of the effects of bitterness.  Then in my next post, I will share steps on how to overcome bitterness. 

Bitterness is a weed that can quickly grow out of control.  It will wreak havoc if left unattended. If you have ever pulled weeds out of a garden, you understand that the roots go very deep.  These roots are what choke out plants.  Bitterness has deep roots that will choke out joy in your life.  As I allowed bitterness into my life, it ruined my joy.  I allowed the offense to become my main focus, which pushed my joy out of the way.  It was ever before me, from when I woke up to when I went to bed. It was like having spots on your glasses that stay, in your line of vision, no matter where you turn your eyes. 

Weeds also bring a certain level of toxicity to the ground as it absorbs all of the cherished nutrients.  Bitterness will bring toxicity into your relationships.  As I struggled with bitterness, it began to affect my closest relationships.
It will become draining on those closest to you. 

Bitterness will affect all of your relationships, including your walk with the Lord.  Ultimately I began to question why God allowed this offense to happen, as well as why He didn’t make things right.  It led me to question God’s goodness and His sovereignty.  I was so upset with God that I stayed away from church for a few months.  In the previous twenty two years of following the Lord, I had only missed a handful of Sundays and church services.  Bitterness even led me to not pick up my Bible for several weeks.  Unfortunately bitterness drove me away from the Father.


If you’re allowing an offense to fester, just know bitterness has begun to lengthen its’ roots into your life.  It goes much deeper than what you see on the surface.  I would be glad to talk with you further about your struggle with bitterness.  My email address is pastorjabo@gmail.com.  I look forward to you reading about the Lord gently restoring me and helping me work through my bitterness.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Soul Care 101 - Rekindling that passion

“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:  These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands.  I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false.  You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.     Revelation 2:1-3

Wow, here in this passage, Jesus takes some time to praise the church at Ephesus.  At first glance, it sounds like the church had worked really hard and had fought the good fight.  With these great descriptions it would seem like the church was going in the right direction.  However let’s read further and see how Jesus continued to speak to the church at Ephesus:

 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.  Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.  Revelation 2:4-5

All of the sudden, a switch was thrown and Jesus dropped the hammer on the church.   The church had done some great things in the kingdom, but they had lost their first love.  Their passion had diminished and they were just going through the motions.  Unfortunately, this passage totally described me a couple of years ago.  As I was traveling through the wilderness, I continued to do good things for the Lord, but had lost my own passion.  It’s important to take care of your soul.  Otherwise passion is one of the first casualties within your soul. 

So how do you rekindle lost passion???

Let’s start by defining passion.  The greatest mistake we can make is equating our good works with our salvation, as if we could earn God’s approval.  Our passion is directly linked to our relationship with the Lord.  If our walk with the Lord goes dry, so will our passions.  The two go hand in hand.  Do you remember when you first came to Christ?  The excitement?  How you wanted to share with everyone you knew?  Although we can be passionate about many different things, this is the passion I’m most concerned with – the passion of knowing Jesus and making Him known through our life.   So let’s look at 4 steps to regaining that passion.

Step 1 – Remember.  Throughout the Old Testament, God was constantly calling His people to remember.  To remember His Faithfulness, His miracles and His blessings.  As humans, we can so easily forget how good the Lord has been.  As we take time to remember, it will reveal God’s faithfulness and love for us.  Take some time to make a list and answer these questions:
            How has the Lord been faithful in your life?
When have you seen God move mightily in your life, your family, etc.?
What blessings has He given to you?

Step 2 – Continue to dig into God’s Word.  As life gets busy, this is one area that normally takes the hit.  As dry seasons come, it is important to continue to dig in, even when we do not feel like it.  God has promised that His Word will not return void.  He will use it in your life, especially when you least expect it.  When we stop digging into His Word, it separates us from knowing His many promises and from hearing from Him.  His Word is essential to regaining your passion.

Step 3 – Don’t stop fellowshipping with other believers.  Unfortunately in the American church, we have so watered this down from the Book of Acts.  This concept has become a little more than a “cookies and punch social”.  Fellowship described in the early church focused of doing life together.  They took time to encourage one another and carried each other’s burdens.  It is important that you have a group where you can drop your spiritual mask and be real.  Without this community, you will become more isolated.  Isolation will wreak havoc in spiritual life (check out my previous post about the dangers of isolation). 

Step 4 – Serve.  Not only are we commanded to serve within the body of Christ, but so many great things happen when we serve.  Don’t fall into the majority of  Christians who weekly choose to sit on the sidelines.  God has given all of us gifts, talents and resources to further His Kingdom.  Being used by God will help revive passion.

Soul care is important, otherwise you will loose your passion for Jesus.  Trust me, as I walked through the wilderness, I was just going through the motions.  I had lost my passion for the Lord.  You can be in church, in church leadership or a in crowd of believers and still be far from the Lord.  Jesus told the church of Ephesus to repent and to go back to doing the things they did at first – remembering, digging into His Word, fellowshipping with other believers and serving the Body. 

How is your passion?  If you had to rank it from 1 to 10 (1 being cold and 10 being hot), what would you rank your passion?  How are you doing in each of these steps?

Please let me know if there is any way I can help you work through these steps.  If you have lost your passion, I can say that it is possible to rekindle it.  I would love to say that it was easy and quick, but it wasn’t.  It was a lengthy process and would love to share with you more if you are interested.  Feel free to contact me at pastorjabo@gmail.com. 



Thursday, October 24, 2013

Soul Care 101 - Don't go at it alone

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.”   Galatians 6:1-3

These next few posts I have called Soul Care 101.  I chose this title not because I am an expert, but because I have seen the damage first hand, that can happen if you do not take care of your soul.  Doing maintenance and check-up on your soul is just as important, if not more so, that doing it on your personal vehicle.  Our vehicles have many different warning lights that can alert you when there is a problem with your engine.  Unfortunately we do not have warning lights for our souls when they are need of help.

When there are mechanical issues with a vehicle, its important to seek out a mechanic.  (Unless you have been blessed with the skills, knowledge and tools for car repair.)  The same is true when we need soul care.  However too many have fallen for the enemy’s greatest lie – that we can make it on our own.  One of the greatest aspects of soul care is realizing we cannot go at it alone. 

When we read 1 Peter 5:8, we get a better understanding of the devil and his intentions.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”   1 Peter 5:8

Ever notice on the discovery channel that the lion only goes after the lone wildebeest and not the herd?  The longer you stay isolated there is a greater possibility that you will not within the attack of the enemy. 

There are three areas I want to challenge you to consider.  All three of these have played an enormous role in my own soul care.   
  • Seek out a mentor.  I’ve come to realize that age doesn’t matter and that everyone needs a mentor.  Someone who can be praying for you regularly, as well as be your sounding board.  I am thankful for the mentors that the Lord has given me throughout the years.  Their role in my spiritual development has been huge.

  • Get an accountability partner.  We all struggle with sin in our lives, especially hidden ones that we don’t want anyone else to know about. Unfortunately pride keeps us from gaining victory over these areas.  It is through mutual confession, praying for and encouraging one another that the Lord uses to help us gain victory in these areas.  We are called to confess our sins to one another and to carry each other’s burdens.  I believe this is the greatest lacking area of the Church today!  So many believers struggle through life and have no victory over sin, because of not being willing to bare themselves to another believer.  The greatest victory over sin and growth in my walk, with the Lord, has been when I’ve had an accountability partner in my corner.  I am so thankful for the man and brother in Christ that God has placed in my life.  I look forward to our regular times together where we pray for and encourage one another.  Just know this kind of relationship takes time to develop.

  • Lastly, you may need to seek out professional counseling.  There have been times in my life that I have needed a professional counselor.  For over 17 years I have struggled greatly with anxiety.  However my time spent with a godly counselor has given me the tools to work through the anxious moments in my life.      


Soul care is critical!  I pray that you are taking steps and to take care of your soul.  Realizing you can’t do it by yourself is the most crucial step.  Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or if you would like to talk.  My email is pastorjabo@gmail.com.