Taking the bite out of bitterness

Growing up, my favorite memories of the holidays have to deal with my mom’s baking. As the days counted down to Christmas, the calories would stack-up in the kitchen, with all of the cookies, cakes and pies.  I can remember one specific holiday, when I was very young, in which my impatience got the best of me.  One night, my mom had pulled out all of the nonperishable ingredients for the next day’s baking marathon.  As I woke up early the next morning and grew impatient, I got into the ingredients.  I realized very quickly that the individual ingredients didn’t taste as good as the completed project.  To my surprise, bittersweet chocolate (and cocoa powder for that matter) was bitter.  It left a bad taste in my mouth.  However as that chocolate mingled with the other ingredients it became a very delectable desert.  Bitterness in our life, if left untreated, will not get better by itself.  Through the Lord’s help, He can use this ingredient in our life to make a masterpiece.  Although there are no simple, quick-fix solutions to overcoming bitterness, there are 4 essential steps in which you must traverse.  Just as that cocoa powder left a bad taste in my mouth, bitterness will linger and continue to wreak havoc.

Acknowledge the source of bitterness

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.   Ephesians 6:10-12

When dealing with bitterness in your life, it is important to understand and acknowledge its source.  Even though there was an offending person to which we apply our anger and focus upon, it is Satan who uses it to ruin our joy and life.  As you work through bitterness, you ultimately have the choice to allow it fester and to overcome it.  Please know that time isn’t the solution.  In actuality it is bitterness that keeps the offense very fresh in your mind.  Years can go by, only to find out that it feels like the situation happened yesterday.  Satan will use this to wreak havoc in your life and to keep you off focus.   

Rest in God’s sovereignty

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.    Romans 8:26-28

The offense that happened in my life ran very deep and hurt very much.  It caused me to doubt God, His goodness and His love for me.  I didn’t understand why God would ever allow that to happen.  I will never fully understand why it ever occurred.  Even after 2 years I have yet to receive an apology.  However I have come to rest in the fact that God is still in control.  I have realized that God has a greater purpose, which I cannot fully understand.  However as a result of the offense, God has used it to help others going through similar situations.  

Choose to forgive

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:31-32

When Paul was speaking to the church at Ephesus, he was quick to say to get rid of bitterness.  It was the first in his list to the Ephesians.  He knew the damage that it could cause – within the church, in someone’s life, as well as, in someone’s personal walk with the Lord.  Notice how he said we are to get rid of bitterness.  It comes by forgiving the offending person.  However it is not your typical “I forgive you, so let’s move on,” but it’s an unconditional forgiveness.  He said to forgive as Jesus forgave us.  Jesus never put any stipulations on His forgiveness.  The Message states this verse a little stronger, “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”  Just know, we will never have to forgive someone more than we have been forgiven. 

It Takes Time

I’m not sure where you’re at in dealing with bitterness.  Perhaps you might be currently struggling with it.  Please understand that it does take time.  I would love to say that it will happen overnight or it’s as easy as flipping a switch.  Choosing to forgive is an ongoing task.  We are called to forgive as Jesus forgave, which is very difficult.   It’s important that you don’t mistake forgiveness with forgetting.  You may never be able to forget an offending situation or person, but you do have a choice to forgive and move past bitterness.  The scar may be forever in your life.  Lastly, you may need to seek out professional help to move past bitterness. 

Please let me know if there is any way I can help you work through these steps. It was a lengthy process for me.  Feel free to contact me at pastorjabo@gmail.com.